Author’s Note

How pretentious I feel referring to myself as an author. Author of what, exactly? Fake it ‘till you make it, I suppose.

I don’t know why I’m setting out to write this, any of this. I guess I feel like I have something to prove. Not to any enemy or any love I’ve lost, but to me. I want to write something that I myself would enjoy reading, but I would be exercising the tempting art of dishonesty if I didn’t come out and say that there are people on my mind as my knuckles brush across the keys here. There is a part of me that wants them to see that I am worthy, that I am capable, that I am real.

Fuck it, though.

I can’t craft through the eyes of others anymore, I have to design my own structures. It’s tiresome playing the role of chameleon due to the pressing bullets of hyper-focused insecurity. I always want to blend in with what everyone else has painted. I’d like to wear my own colors now.

So if you haven’t figured out by now, but of course I know you have, I don’t have any of this project written. This note may very well be the only thing on this page for quite some time. Things may be posted and then edited or completely removed.

What I am most excited for is the growth of myself along with this, constantly writing and rewriting it, getting in touch with my mind, exploring my inner curiosities and learning more about where my soul is and what it means to me. I’ve struggled with identity and the lack thereof for about as long as I’ve felt entitled to own one.

All in all, whatever this winds up becoming, whatever shape this takes on, I hope you’re as happy to read it as I am.

I may honestly have to battle the urge to include a Ninja Pirate Samurai War somewhere. Hopefully I can work that in. We’ll see.